she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
