She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
