good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
