All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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