Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
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I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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