Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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