My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
