I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
