So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
