You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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