dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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