5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
