I like my sex mixed with concussions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
