I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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