Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
