Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
