You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
