i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
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