Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
