Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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