Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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