...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
