my shit smells like andre
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize