We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
