it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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