Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
