Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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