I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
