She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
