New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
