Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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