Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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