He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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