i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
