I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
