Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
