the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
