I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
