This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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