umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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