even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
