I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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