there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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