She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
