I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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