I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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