we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
