I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
