Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
