i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
