It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
