Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
