Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
