I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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