I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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