Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize