I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
