yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize