me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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